A French dad faces jail time and a hefty fine after using a signal jammer to prevent his kids from going online and taking the rest of a nearby town down with them.
Starting at midnight and until 3 AM every day of the week, the French town of Messanges found that their cellular and Internet service were no longer working.
After a mobile carrier reported the issue to the Agence nationale des fréquences (ANFR), a public agency responsible for managing the radioelectric spectrum in France, it was determined that a signal jammer was being used to block radio frequencies in the town.
"The explanation was disconcertingly simple: the jammer had been installed by the father of the family to prevent his teenagers from accessing the internet with their smartphone instead of falling asleep! His children had indeed become addicted to social networks and other applications, in particular since the confinement imposed due to the epidemic of Covid-19," ANFR explained in their report.
If you haven't been here, you aren't a parent. It's that simple. You think your staying up late to scroll your little social media accounts only impacts you, you overly simple simpleton? No. No, it doesn't. The whole damn family has to deal with your bad attitude when you don't get your solid 10 hours. It's gotten to be too much lately. Everyone is at their wit's end. So, what are we dads supposed to do? Are we supposed to just keep hearing it from our wives over and over and over and over and over again that something must be done to curb this wifi-fueled obsession? No. We spring into action. We order a device that would make the United States Government successful in conflicts with cyberattacks from Russia and their ilk by simply shopping on Amazon and subsequently installing a jammer the likes of which have never been seen. Problem solved. Hard being on the internet when there is no internet in the house. Granted, I guess it's not just the house.
Yeah. If you wanna get technical, he shut down the internet in the entire town too but again I say, who cares? It's from midnight to 3 am. In the words of my friend and longtime stoolie Herm Edwards, nothing good out there happens after midnight so why are you out? Why are you posting and scrolling on tiktok at that hour anyway?
In reality, the town's members should be thanking this guy instead of giving him gruff. They should stick his ass on a park bench and give him the sucking of a lifetime. Why? Because every teen, young adult, and nearly 40 something would be getting more and better sleep than they have in years. People would be spry, kind, and less likely to say mean shit on the internet. Productivity would be through the damn roof. We all know that we do crazy stuff when we are tired and still drawn in by the gaze of the blue light. You know that better than anyone, dear reader. You are probably exhausted right now, arent ya? Yeah. You need a fucking nap. We all do. Maybe we should call this guy, bring him to the ole USA, and get him to install this jammer on the top of the Capitol building. After that, our politicians will be rested and ready to tackle our problems. Even Sleepy Joe. Can you imagine? Incredible.
Good work, dad. You dont need jail time for this jammer. You need a fucking blow jibber.