MLB Owners Can Suck A Fat One
WGN – For the first time since Major League Baseball owners locked out the players in December, games have been postponed.
On Friday, the league officially called off spring training games until March 5th as the owners and players still have not come to an agreement on a new Collective Bargaining Agreement.
The Cubs were slated to begin their games on February 26th against the Dodgers at Sloan Park while the White Sox were to have opened up the spring training slate against the Athletics at Camelback Ranch in Glendale.
Blah blah blah all these owners can kiss my pasty white ass on their way to eternal suffering in hell. I was running some numbers today and the average MLB franchise has appreciated approximately 25 billion fucking times since the summer of Dominique Moceanu (1996). It's appalling to even talk finances when you're looking at a group of men deep into the billions. For no reason other than terminal illness or a child's pain/suffering, you should NEVER feel bad for these guys. And even the terminal illness association is a stretch with a number of MLB owners long past their expiration date. Whatever sympathy you want from me can be purchased in some combination of high-end free agent acquisitions and majorly reduced ticket/beer prices. That's Moving The Needle 101.
Instead we have our first formal, official delay to the MLB season with games cancelled until March 5th. Keep an eye on arm injuries when they rush a deal and move everyone through a condensed spring training season to make up regular season ground. Watch the decision makers act like this was some heartfelt effort to push baseball to a better place long term. It honestly makes me sick just thinking about the environment we're going to wind up with:
We never doubted that a deal would get done - Rob Manfred
End of the day, the negotiation process did its job and we're proud of how it turned out - a poorly educated player rep
The players union fought a relentless fight and they should be proud of what this means for the next generation of players - Nobody
We're just excited to get back to baseball - Every manager
We're eager to move forward with the provided clarity - Most front offices
I am a greedy asshole and I suck - Paul Dolan speaking on behalf of himself and several other owners
Paul Dolan is my spirit animal - John Angelos
The quotes will be everywhere and they'll be awful because the responsible parties think we're so stupid and simple minded. That we have an ounce of sympathy for their labor disagreements and their intentional efforts to avoid any type of equality. To all these owners - suck my dick.
The best lesson out of all of this is that anyone can become rich enough to be an MLB owner. But often it's the dumb, selfish, egomaniac blowhards. Certainly enough to identify it as a trend. So maybe all you ambitious youngsters out there need to be bigger dumb assholes to accomplish your dreams. Based on this population alone, it certainly isn't a bad idea.
On the bright side - they say the negotiations will resume Monday and will go on daily until a deal is done. It will very likely fail to address any of the notable topics in any favorable terms to players. All this time wasted for nothing.
Remember that next time your owner tries to appreciate you. They're all full of shit and that's how it will always be.
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