Los Angeles Didn't Even Make the Top 10 Markets for Super Bowl Viewership

More than 112 million people watched Super Bowl LVI. Rumor has it maybe even 10,000 of them were in Los Angeles.

The Super Bowl champions' own city didn't register in the top 10 markets for the game, while Detroit ranked No. 2 behind only Cincinnati to watch one guy who used to play for the Lions. I can't believe a city known for having the best fans in the world wouldn't turn up to watch their Rams in the Super Bowl. Maybe it's because all of them were watching at and outside the stadium, getting ready for the party afterwards.

If the Braves hadn't won the World Series three months ago, this shit would truly enrage me. I spent two decades pleading with God to let me see just one fleeting moment of glory, meanwhile one of the worst cities in America has won three titles in two years — yeah, two of them don't actually count, but still — and they couldn't care less. What a bunch of assholes.

Maybe they'll all show up to the three-team mega-parade LeBron has been lobbying for. That's what's going to put the asses in seats. The good people of St. Louis deserve better than having to watch the Rams win a Super Bowl to the fanfare of dozens.