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It's A Bad Day To Be A Raccoon: Eating Road Kill Is No Longer Against The Law

Giphy Images.

A new delicacy is available in Wyoming. It is fresh and cheap—but probably a little gamey. Last month it became legal for Wyomingites to collect roadkill that they accidentally hit themselves, or that they happened upon. Not all animals are fair game. Grizzly bears, some grey wolves and endangered species are off-limits.

Wyoming is not the only state that allows residents to collect roadkill. In fact, the Cowboy State is late to the party. Around 30 other states have some kind of roadkill-salvage programme.

Not everyone is licking their lips. Some opponents fret that people will end up eating rancid meat. “It’s really the burden of the person who chooses to collect roadkill if they eat it or not,” says Sara DiRienzo, of Wyoming Game and Fish. Others worry that the laws will embolden hunters to use the roadkill programme as cover for killing animals they should not.

After almost a decade of failing to pass the bill, Dan Zwonitzer, its frequent sponsor, credits his success to recent support from his right-wing colleagues in the legislature.

Finally! I've never understood why state governments tried to get their hands into someone else's roadkill. Food scarcity is a thing. Lots of families can't afford to buy meat from the stores. The struggle, as they say, is real. 

What's wrong with enjoying the gift of a raccoon or deer that sacrifices itself on a rural highway? Nothin. Nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, you could argue that not eating that animal is fucked up. That deer didnt ask for a highway to be placed slap dab right in the middle of it's home where he's trying to raise his deer family. He's out cruising for a new spot for his whole squad to eat some wild berries and whathaveyou. Some stinky old man has started hanging out wearing deciduous forest-inspired clothing in his habitat. When that starts happening, you start to see crimes like gunshots and shit happen more and more. It's so sad. One minute, you're living in a nice quiet habitat and the next thing ya know, gunshots and bloodshed all around. But, that's the life of a deer. You live by the woods. You die by the woods. It's a tale as old as time. SMH. 

Anyway, back to roadkill eatin. Buddy, if my 2014 Platinum Edition Toyota Tundra molly whops a deer while I'm traveling at a reasonable speed, you better believe I'd wanna have that bad boy ass up on a wire with its guts hanging out so that I can harvest it like the moon on the altar of the ancient Mayans.  Venison is delicious. I dont care if it was killed with a farm stock bumper or a .50 cal sniper rifle. Good eatin is just that. Good eatin especially when paired with a balsamic vinaigrette.