If The Jayson Werth Chia Pet Doesn't Turn The Season Around, Nothing Will

This is it. I’m all in on turning the season around. The Nats have stunk on ice since the All Star Break. Nobody is hitting, the bullpen stinks, Matt Williams’ brain doesn’t work, it’s all a mess. So it’s all on the Jayson Werth chia pet to turn this shit around. Yea, I could have sold it on eBay for 60 or so bucks

But that’s not how you get good ju ju. You smother chia seeds all over a little ceramic Jayson Werth and you single handily turn this ship around.  Everyone has to do their part, and I’ll be fucked if I’m not doing mine. Hitters hit, pitchers pitch, and bloggers grow chia pets.

So here we go, 50 something games left in the season. If the chia can’t get it done, well then I tip my cap to the Mets. But if I’m a fan of them, I’d be afraid, very afraid.

PS: If you have any sort of OCD, do not get into the chia pet game. One little chia seed where you don’t want it to be can ruin 10 minutes of your day.

Freshly shaven Jayson Werth:

Chiayson Werth, Day 1: