"I was at the cottage all day today, I didn't even visit Istanbul. You polluted the tram and blamed it on me. You are bad." (via Google translate)
In the words of my coworker Wallo267, "Haters is your marketing team!" Truer words have never been spoken when it comes to Boji, Istanbul's latest celebrity. Boji's celebrity status has really picked up over the last two months, where multiple news outlets have run pieces on him, spreading joy to all corners of the world.
"Boji is a stray dog and travels Istanbul district by district with public transport. It travels up to 30 kilometers each day, passes 29 metro stations, takes two ferry rides. He knows very well where and how to get on trains and ferries." (Via Google translate)
Yet in the past few days there have been assassination attempts on Boji's character. Some have gone as far to say he was a "bad dog" and other hateful slurs used to tear down the dog community. It's barbaric. I don't want to point any fingers but I think this goes all the way to the top at city hall. The transit commissioner started calculating how many free rides Boji was racking up and needed to try and take him out. Once the public was on Boji's side he knew something as simple as a dog catcher with a comically oversized net was out of the question. He needed to smear Boji's character and get the public on his side to pull off his plan. A sick, twisted plan it was.
Thankfully the man behind this assassination attempt is the least slick human being who ever lived. Buddy didn't even look around before removing a fresh pile of turds from his pocket. Many people are very clearly looking at him as he leaned over to smear shit all over the seat. You would think that this plan would have included something like, I don't know, Boji being on the same bus to make it somewhat believable to begin with. Which would be hard, no doubt. Guy could've been carrying those turds for weeks before he lucked into being on the same public transit as the local hero. His impatience was his death sentence here and for that we should all be thankful. I don't even want to know where this sicko even found that pile of shit. Was it his? Was he out on the streets searching for mounds of crap all morning? Too many questions, not nearly enough answers. This type of behavior would never happen in Constantinople.