Bunch of Frumpy Moms Who Don't Want To Parent Their Own Kids Are Mad at Toys R Us For Carrying Breaking Bad Action Figures

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CNN – Breaking Bad’s” Walter White may have cleverly dodged authorities during his career as a drug kingpin, but his action figure hasn’t dodged the wrath of a Florida mother. Susan Schrivjer, a mother from Fort Myers, launched a petition in early October to have White — and other “Breaking Bad” action figures — removed from Toys R Us. As of Monday morning, the Change.org request has received more than 2,000 signatures. In the petition, Schrivjer — who wrote the appeal under the name “Susan Myers” — gets right to the point. “Toys R Us is well known around the world for their vast selection of toys for children of all ages,” she wrote. “However their decision to sell a Breaking Bad doll, complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth, alongside children’s toys is a dangerous deviation from their family friendly values.” In an interview with CNN affiliate WFTX of Fort Myers, Schrivjer expanded on her thoughts. “Kids mimic their action figures, if you will,” she told the station. “Do you want your child in an orange jumpsuit?”


Sorry, had to stop there to allow everyone to puke. Just a quick puke break before finishing the story. “KIDS MIMIC THEIR ACTION FIGURES, DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD IN AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT”. That was a thing really said by a woman who is raising a kid. Seriously. She said that. Blame the action figures when your shitty kid doesn’t know right from wrong! It’s a toy’s fault when your kid starts selling meth! It’s Toys R Us’s fault you can’t look at your stupid kid and tell it killing and making blue meth for a Peruvian chicken restaurant owner is bad. PUKE PUKE PUKE.

We continue….

Signers to her petition agree. “It’s sick that a company would design kids toys that glorify the making of meth. It’s just as sick to sell them,” wrote Jaime Keasler. “While I support free enterprise and there may be a market for these figures, this is a children’s toy store,” said Monica Tessmer. “It shouldn’t even be a question that this is inappropriate. Not a smart move Toy r Us.” The action figures include White — the chemistry teacher turned meth lord — and his assistant, Jesse Pinkman, in hazmat suits, as well as White as his gun-toting alter ego, Heisenberg. Toys R Us has yet to respond to a CNN query. In a statement to WFTX, the toy giant said, “The products you reference are carried in very limited quantities and the product packaging clearly notes that the items are intended for ages 15 and up. Items from this TV series are located in the adult action figure area of our stores.”


What an unbelievable story. Truly unreal. Some plastic figurine is going to turn your kid into a meth dealer? To that I say, hopefully. If you’re a shitty enough parent that your kid playing with a piece of plastic will that drastically change their life, then I hope your kid does end up in jail. You both deserve it. How about instead of making internet petitions, you tell your child to go read a book? Or just buy them an action figure that won’t inspire them to kill someone, you know, like a GI Joe? Good for Toys R Us for sticking to their guns. And as usual, Walter White wins in the end.