Since the Giants are off this week and Jason Garrett can't piss me off, I spent my Sunday rooting for America's Team, which is clearly Dan Campbell's #gritty Lions instead of a certain fancy team from Texas that almost every American I know roots against every week. Obviously as the tweet clearly states, the game ended in a tie, which is fitting for one of the ugliest, most preposterous games I have ever seen.
However I thought we had to spinzone things a bit for the good people of Detroit who have been through hell and back every football season that I have been alive. So that's why I am banging the drum for 0-17 being off the table. The first NFL franchise to go 0-16 didn't deserve to be the first team to go 0-17 the first year it was even mathetically possible. Superfan didn't deserve that. Detroit Don didn't deserve that. And a man of Football like Dan Campbell sure as shit didn't deserve that.
Being the first 0-16-1 team is most certainly still on the table, but only real dickheads would bring up a winless season with a tie in it. So I guess instead of this tie being like kissing your sister, this tie is more like kissing your hot stepsister, which is apparently still all the rage since I cannot scroll a page of Pornhub even in Incognito Mode without one of those videos popping up. Plus let's be honest, all the In The Hunt graphics in our first NFL season with 18 weeks and 7 playoff teams in each conference deserves to be completely mucked up with one of those teams having a tie, especially since nothing feels totally normal in this weird Coronaworld where star players just get snapped out of games on a random Friday.
Also I want to shout out Yesterday Clem for responsibly betting the Lions +6.5 on the Barstool Sportsbook instead of the Lions Money Line like he wanted to because the combination of the Lions coming off a bye after a game where they buried the game film along with the Steelers having a short week and always fucking countless people over in their survivor pools right around now. If I had to live and die with every snap of that game knowing I needed a Lions W instead of just a cover, my risk of a heart attack today would have went from the usual Red to Dark Red.