After Long And Hard Deliberation I've Decided That The Ultimate Warrior Shirt Is My Personal Favorite
I think we all know by now that I am a man with Discerning taste. I don’t have a lot of hobbies and interests. No one has ever accused Big Cat of being a Renaissance Man. I don’t watch movies or listen to music or read words. I basically stalk women on the internet, gamble on sports, and watch Wrestling. So when I say I have thought long and hard about this decision, you know I’ve thought long and hard about this decision. I have all of these shirts. I’ve worn them all. I’ve seen how they look on my chiseled (up for debate) frame. And through my extensive testing I’ve come to the conclusion that the Ultimate Warrior shirt is the best. It has everything. Flair. Panache. Intimidation. Sex Appeal. Literally everything you want in a shirt is in that shirt. If I could shed all societal norms I would wear my Ultimate Warrior shirt and Monopoly tie while I ate Burritos and played with trains for the rest of my life. Alas, I can not, but getting to wear it at all is not a bad consolation prize.
Runner up goes to Razor, mostly because every time I see a modern day video of Scott Hall it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And, at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone. So when I wear this shirt it numbs the pain.
PS
I initially spelled consolation, constellation, like as in Orion’s Belt is my Favorite Constellation. Probably should try to work a little reading into the Wrestling/Stalking/Gambling Power Trio I’ve got going.
Double PS
Hulk giving the belt to Warrior may be the greatest illustration of good sportsmanship ever. Soon as my “son” (I’m definitely having all daughters) is old enough I’m showing him that video as lesson number 1 on how to be a good sport.