Yesterday on Mailtime I spoke with Gary Vaynerchuk. Dude is an internet bazillionaire but it when it comes to sports hes just as big of an idiot as the rest of us. And so he kinda coined the phrase “Sports Muscles” yesterday during our interview. Just like Beer Muscles. Except for sports. In the heat of the moment, either at or during a sporting event, you are the biggest, baddest motherfucker there is. You end up doing something amazingly stupid, reckless, disrespectful or downright criminal because your sports team has driven you to this mental state. Its like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk. Could be after a tough loss. Could be heckling opposing fans during a game. Could be during a Zog Sports intramural game. Whatever it may be, we all suffer from Sports Muscles. Here were the best examples after yesterday’s episode:
First thing’s first, spitting on that Indian kid was #1. Thats incredible. But we basically see it all in this lineup. Setting cats on fire, throwing TVs and chairs off of balconies, making girlfriends cry and ending relationships. How about the 4 dudes that went to jail? IDIOTS. Or how about the Philly stories? Poor Gunnar Esiason getting Sports Muscled by some Philly Faithful after the Eagles WON, gets a beer poured on his head. The Rams fan who got 6 hard boiled eggs stuck in his tailpipe? Thats the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You can blow up a motherfuckers car that way. I guess thats Philly though. An entire city just born with Sports Muscles. Just generation after generation of white trash breeding with the biggest strongest Sports Muscles you’ve ever seen.