Woman Won't Get Any Alimony From Her Ex-Husband Because She Didn't Inform Him That She Was a Genie Before Getting Married

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KHOU - This story about a divorce in the United Arab Emirates begins in not-so-unusual fashion: A wife refuses to sleep with her husband, and he is not pleased. Then it gets weird: She tells him to talk to her parents, who explain that their daughter can’t have sex with him because she is, in fact, a supernatural creature called a jinn that the BBCequates to a genie. This results in divorce. But if the excuse was a tall tale, the joke’s on the ex-wife, because a court in Dubai ruled that she is not entitled to alimony, reports Gulf News. Reason? She wasn’t honest about the genie matter. Neither story is clear about whether this means the court thinks she’s lying about being a genie or whether it thinks she should have informed her husband about her genie-ness before the wedding, but either way, she gets no alimony.

 

Hah, what an idiot woman. Maybe something you should tell your boyfriend around date 4 or 5. You know, you’re getting to like the person, you find out a little something about their childhood, you meet their friends out at the bar, and oh yea, I’m a genie, I hope that doesn’t change anything. Hey ladies, little advice: if you’re a genie, tell your guy you’re a genie. He probably won’t care. Such a classic chick move to overthink everything. We seriously care so little about most things that girls freak out about. Do you have a vagina? Do you let me put my dick in it for 5-20 seconds at a time? Yes? Then great. I don’t care if you’re a genie, a mermaid, an animorph, whatever. Just come out and say it at the beginning, I’ll probably forget anyway.