Lighten the Fuck Up! Dammit, the Rooster died!

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Little Billy came home from school and was immediately overwhelmed with grief when he saw the family's pet rooster dead in the backyard. Rigor mortis had already set in and the rooster was laying flat on its back with his legs straight up in the air. When Billy's dad came home from work he ran up to his car and as soon as he got out he yelled, "Dad, our rooster's dead, and his legs are sticking straight up in the air!" After he calmed down a bit he and his dad went to have a look and Billy asked, "Dad, why are his legs sticking straight up in the air?" 

His dad had to think quickly, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the sky and lift the rooster straight up to heaven…" 

"Gee Dad, that's great, at least our rooster's going to heaven" little Billy said with some resolve.

A few days later, when his Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him at his car again, but this time he was yelling, "Dad, dad we almost lost mom today!" 

"What do you mean son?" Billy's dad asked with great curiosity. 

"Well dad, when I got home from school today and went up to your bedroom, there was mom laying flat on her back with her legs sticking straight up in the air and she was screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming!" We're just lucky Uncle Pete was there to hold her down or we would've lost her for sure!"

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968