The World’s Fastest Man Might Be Doping

Ulrik Pedersen. Shutterstock Images.

I am honestly very sorry I have not blogged this sooner. This story broke over the weekend and was only brought to my attention by PFT Commenter on Monday's Pardon My Take. Lamont Marcell Jacobs's former nutritionist Giacomo Spazzini (great fantasy fuckboi name) was wrapped up in an Italian police probe of an anabolic steroid distribution ring.

Now, this is where things start to get tricky. 

Lamont Marcell Jacob's never broke 10 seconds in the 100m dash till this last May. Marcell claimed to have stopped working with Giacomo Spazzini when the allegations were first made in March. Apparently, Spazzini may have been involved in obtaining a prescription pad and writing scripts for growth hormones and anabolic steroids, like a pill mill pharmacy writes them for oxy. Spazzini's Instagram may indicate that March was not the last time they interacted. Lamont also claims Spazzini was found innocent, Lamont also used to work a day job as a police officer. 

Here is a video Giacomo posted a week ago regarding his client's ability and improvement.

Google translate did me no favors in translating this stuff but it seems Jacobs's inability to reach his max speed had to do with his bad eating habits, which after being cleaned up allowed him to break 10 seconds.

I look to a couple of other factors, Lamont only started getting fast in may when he competed in the March European indoor track and field events. The first of such events since prepandemic. 

Like many countries, the pandemic put a serious strain on Italy's medical systems. Italy was hit extremely hard, the second country to show serious death rates right after China in Wuhan. Italy also has a national health system, which is in charge of Anti-Doping testing. During the pandemic, I can almost guarantee Italy did not allocate any resources in their government-funded healthcare system to testing athletes while dealing with a national crisis of this magnitude. 

I may be making a bunch of stretches but I work for a comedy website so parody law and this is all allegedly. 

But… Out of all sprinters to ever break 9.80 only 1 was never caught or accused of steroid use. 

Usain Bolt.

Of this top 10 only Bolt has never been popped (or accused) for steroids, and they really tried to get him for it. 

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Jacobs has never tested positive and just been faced with allegations, but the majority of his company have juiced. Also, these guys have insane genetic speed already, juice by itself doesn't make you break 10 seconds in the 100m. 

I actually believe Usain Bolt is natural just has insanely strong hip flexors, they say that tall sprinters have trouble accelerating at the beginning of the race, which Bolt had, steroids can't give you that stride length that just outsteps everyone. WADA also really wanted to ensure he was clean, the U.S hated losing and was extremely hard on Jamaica to ensure their athletes weren't using. This is how they got a lot of his teammates. This tweet breaks down that his speed was a result of precision movement maximizing his frame to reach top speed, opposed to just footspeed. 

One thing is for sure though, Spazzini is Spajuicin.