Who The Fuck Is This Guy And Why Is He Trying To Look More Like Me Than Me?

I’ve had dozens and dozens of look alikes since I’ve started working here. I get tagged in tweets every other day of people with red beards, glasses, shitty tattoos, fat bellies, and injected eyes/diarrhea. Never have I ever seen a man look like me that isn’t me. I’m sub 200 now but a year ago, I would have bet my life this was me.

It’s not. It looks so much like me that even my mom thought it was me.

This is bullshit. Cease and desist, slightly chubbier me.