I SWEPT Our Captain's Draft By Way Of Captain Rex
On the last episode of LCB, we interviewed Andrew Rannells, reviewed 'Jungle Cruise', and did a Captain Draft in honor of the Rock's character. And that draft? Buddy, I crushed it. Lets break it down:
Audience Czar (Captain America, Captain Planet, Jeter, Steve Zissou, and Captain Munnerlyn):
- The Czar was dead on with his first pick. You ask anyone, billy on the street style, to name a captain for a dollar, they're likely saying ole Steve Rodgers.
- Captain Planet, though? Great job that guy has been doing the last few decades! Guy is an incompetent LOSER that is only good for the Funny or Die Don Cheadle skit.
- Jeter was a solid pick for redemption in the third, but Steve Zissou might be too specific of a film guy pick.
- Another redemption pick in one of the coolest football names in Munnerlyn, but that leaves them with 3 good picks and 2 bad ones.
Trill (Captain Ron, Paul McCartney Captain Philips guy, El Cap, Carhart Hat):
- Captain Ron is a great pick, nobody is denying that. In fact, Trill bringing him up had an insane effect on the Captain Ron IMDB traffic.
- However, Paul McCartney? Are you kidding me? His reasoning is that he is the captain of the Beatles and may also be the captain of the Yellow Submarine or of the Sgt. Peppers thing. Thats pure rubbish, IMO.
- Picking the "I am the captain now" guy was a funny, because he does, in fact, become the captain. But for how long? Only 4 days by my math. Not a great captain.
- El Cap was another good pick, but I'm mostly only saying that to plug my interview with Alex Honnold, who famously climbed it without a rope in the documentary "Free Solo".
- Lastly, a carhart hat (Literally a CAP thats TAN) is another BOOOOO pick!
Jeff (Crunch, Sully, Kirk, Gordon, D's):
- Captain Crunch is a solid cereal, and I think this is a fine pick. However, not first round value.
- Sully Sullenberger shouldn't even be in this draft. What did he do besides land a plane? People do that EVERY DAY! And you know what 99% of good captains in the world do? In the words of Matt Damon, they simply don't hit the birds in the first place.
- Captain Kirk is very iconic, but not even the best Star Trek captain. In fact, if you consider Sisko a captain, then Kirk isn't even top 2.
- Gordon is simply commissioner Gordon. Nobody remembers him as captain Gordon.
- I have never been to Captain D's, but me and trill had a very funny Deez Nutz joke at jeff's expense after he picked it.
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MY DRAFT (Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Han Solo, Captain Rex, Captain Flint, Captain Falcon):
- Captain Sparrow is one of the best characters ever designed. Weird, hilarious, perfect levels of pirate, and expertly played by Johnny Depp.
- Han Solo is one of the best movie characters ever. Also expertly played, but this time one of the best rogues of all time.
- Captain Rex was a bit of a vanity pick as a Star Wars animated series fan. For those of you familiar with him, though, I'd say he is arguably a top 5 star wars character ever. Great character arc, badass, great leader, and a guy that gave more characterization to the clones than any other character.
- Captain Flint is DEFINITLY a vanity pick, because I know not enough people have watched 'Black Sails'. But that show is one of my favorite shows ever made and I think objectively one of the best shows I have ever seen. Captain Flint was the lynchpin of the success for that series, so I had to take him.
- Lastly, Captain Falcon is the best. Name me one better video game feeling than successfully connecting on a Falcon Punch? That little pause when the person you hit freezes before being LAUNCHED with a ton of damage? I just asked MRags, who sits across from me, and he said that the feeling of connecting on a Falcon Punch delivered a high that he has been chasing his entire life.