Sorry For Partying - The Australian Rugby And Rowing Teams Were Punished For Destroying Rooms And Throwing Up Everywhere

[Yahoo] - Australian media is reporting that members of the men's rowing and rugby teams left their rooms in Tokyo's Olympic Village in “a messy and unacceptable state,” according to the Australian Olympic Committee. Crimes against decorum included a hole in a wall, a destroyed cardboard bed, and vomit in a location where vomit is not supposed to be. 

Also at issue: the case of missing mascots. Life-sized (but fortunately not actually live) mascots of an emu and a kangaroo vanished from the Australian team's residences. A wide-ranging, and surely calm and measured, search found the mascots in the vicinity of the German delegation. Hmmm.

If I know anything about Australians and the Olympics, you should just go ahead and consider yourself lucky this was the only damage. A couple of broken cardboard beds, who cares? The vomit? Yeah that's not great, but we're talking about partying in the Olympics. I assume that happens daily on a regular basis once your competition is over. 

Here's the real thing. What the hell did those mascots get into? How does an emu and a kangaroo end up over in the German delegation? Perhaps we can put a couple things together here. The Germans challenged the Australians to a drinking game, Beerfest style. 

The Australian rugby team is not one to pass on an opportunity to compete while the rowing team wanted to show their worth. We're talking speed quarters, pong, flip cup, all the good stuff. Clearly the Germans wanted to throw the Australians off their game by stealing the mascots. Pretty sure I just cracked the case there, Olympic village. 

Oh and as for the broken beds? Yeah there was an orgy. No doubt about it, there was an orgy. People in Olympic Village LOVE fucking each other. It's always one of the biggest stories and honestly I just want to walk around a normal Olympic Village one year. Let me see how these guys and gals hit on each other from different countries. Do you just walk around with your medal to draw attention? Feel like that's what someone from perhaps a smaller event like fencing would do. But the Australians and Germans for sure fucked in this situation. 

Where do we think the vomit was in the 'location it shouldn't be'? Way for no one to do some investigative journalism here. Whomst is to say where the proper place to throw up is? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Let's just stop pretending like these Olympians aren't partying and banging though. It's happening.