Ashton Kutcher And Mila Kunis, For Seemingly No Reason At All, Announce They Never Shower Or Bathe

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(Source) - "I didn't have hot water growing up as a child so I didn't shower very much anyway," Kunis said.

That has apparently continued with her and Kutcher's two kids, Wyatt, 6, and Dimitri, 4.

"I wasn't that parent that bathed my newborns, ever," Kunis said.

And now that they are older, Kutcher said they have a system.

"If you can see the dirt on them, clean them," he said. "Otherwise there's no point."

Kutcher said he does wash his "armpits and my crotch daily and nothing else ever," and has a tendency to "throw some water on my face after a workout to get all the salts out."

I've never understood people who are anti-bathers. It's fucking awesome in that wet box. The water and the cleanliness aside, you get left the fuck alone for however long you want. Depressed? Take a shower. Feel great? Take a shower. On some weeds? Buddy,,,

But the real truth to the matter here is that Kunis and Kutcher are both frauds. Giant frauds. Either you don't bathe at all or you do. These aren't communities you can half-step between. I'd go as far to call them both bathers after these admissions. Ashton washes his dick and balls, and in order to do that he washes his hands in the process. This isn't being anti-bathing, this is being lazy for no goddamn reason at all. It would honestly be less of a hassle to just hop in the shower. Also, no way these two are eating ass. Not a chance. Ashton specifically noted he washes his crotch and his pits, not the hole he pushes shit out of. Though after reading this I shouldn't assume a goddamn thing. There's at least a 5% chance neither of them shit. Like they're so rich they know the exact amount of nutrients to take in daily and their body has no need to remove any waste. Their urine is as clear as waters of Fiji. 

However, on the other hand, and by "other hand" I do in fact mean that 95% chance they do shit like normal humans, then what the fuck, man? Wash your ass, bro, goddamn.