Freaking Asians, man. If the world was run on dancing, arcade games and math then we’d all be speaking Mandarin or some other Far Eastern language I’d never comprehend by now. Do you know how hard it is to just walk normally and not pass out in a mascot uni? Borderline impossible. Back during the Barstool Blackout Tour days people would wear heavy TMNT costumes that were so ingrained with sweat the stench alone would have the same effect as Bill Cosby’s bar napkin. Screw vision impairing glasses, if you want to live like Blind Mike for a day then put on one of those heads. You go from 20/20 to Stevie Wonder in a heartbeat. Not to mention most professional mascots are more athletic than the athletes they’re supporting. The Philly Phanatic’s “Friend” Tom Burgoyne is like 60 and is downright shredded. Shit, when Hip-Hop was around I would’ve taken that Thoroughbred in wigger wear over most of the Sixers on the court at any given time. That thing could HOP. Props to these Asians for being able breathe in those things let alone do freaking back flips.