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The Flag Bearer From Tonga Has Everyone Dripping Wet ... Again

This fucking guy. Listen, I know a lot of people would make fun of him or call him a hardo for this, but not I. I respect the move from Pita Taufatofua, who just blasts some bare chest with A LOT of baby oil every Olympics hence the wetness in the title. He's a staple, he's as much of the tradition at the Olympics as the lighting of the torch now. Three straight Olympics this dude has shown up, made a bunch of people on Twitter horny during the Opening Ceremonies and then did his thing. Hard to blame him. Pretty good life if you can do that. 

Best part is he's a winter and summer Olympic event, so he's just going to continue to show up shirtless and send everyone into a tizzy. I'm starting to understand why Olympic Village gives out roughly a zillion condoms. You got people like him and Alica Schmidt and all these fit, attractive people looking to blow off steam. Hard to blame them for wanting to bang left and right. 

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Quick Alica Schmidt halftime break

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Okay, back to our buddy Pita here. I respect how you can see the progression of more baby oil each Olympics. He knows what the people wants. He knows what he's doing. We're in the pageviews game, he's basically a blogger with a somewhat better body. He know the more baby oil, the more camera time. The more camera time, the more endorsements and cash. Buddy has got Olympic life all figured out. At this point he needs to be in the Olympics for Tonga just for this. It's how they stay relevant. I don't care if it's 2050, lather Pita up, watch Twitter get horny, get on camera. Rinse and repeat.