I'm Not Trying To Be A Jerk, But Riding Your Bike On Lake Shore Drive Is A Completely Different Level Of Stupid

It's safe to say that a lot of stupid shit comes across the broad desk of Barstool Chicago. Usually it involves folding tables, every cup snake, sloppy chugs or some kind of poorly executed physical stunt. In all cases though I have never sincerely needed a follow up to ensure anybody's safety. Sorry you burned your eyebrows off or fell into the river or separated your shoulder, etc. Stupid is as stupid does. 

That said I'm going to need a bronze alert issued to verify this lady is doing okay. Anyone familiar with the navigation patterns around Jean Baptiste Point du Sable Lake Shore Drive knows that it's basically impossible to get a bike out there north of the river. In other words the footage you see above should not be real. Countless people across literal generations have worked to prevent this kind of moment and yet here we are. The wild west of the northbound LSD has been infiltrated by a harmless woman just trying to maximize the value of her Divvy subscription. All valid criticisms aside I actually respect this move. 

One thing that completely escapes me is how you get off LSD from the left lane heading north. No way you clear 4 lanes of traffic to make the LaSalle/North Ave exit. Getting off at Fullerton is even harder when you consider everyone's gassing it up to 60mph while you're peddling a steady 14 with the electric boost. That's Frogger level 99 after a couple heavy-handed cocktails in Old Town. I certainly don't love the way this one shaped up. 

Hopefully it has a happy ending. Unfortunately I'm not privy to that information. Just the small sample of the irrational danger alongside several other submissions this year of Divvy bikes in unfamiliar places. Another hope is that trend comes to an end. Not because I'm a pussy that hates fun but really because I don't need one of the only useful programs this city operates to fall victim to suburban vandalism. Don't sandbag me in the middle of festival season. Not with The Taste of Lincoln lurking around the corner. Some of us around here actually need this shit. 

Until then, play it safe guys. Not everyone was made for Divvy. 


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