Team USA Basketball Can't Stop Embarrassing The Country While Looking Like Complete Shit


What the fuck guys? I'm not lying when I say we need to see if we can convince all the actual good players to show up for the Olympics. Let's just double check that Chris Paul, Steph, Harden, LeBron and Anthony Davis don't want to come play. Maybe do an extra exam on Kawhi's leg. Because this? This team is dogshit, losing to Nigeria and Australia back-to-back. Not to mention we literally look awful - what are these jerseys? 

Ned Dishman. Getty Images.

Just a gigantic pack of ass if you ask me. Again, I don't want to hear excuses that Australia is a top-5 team in the world and anything like that. We're Team USA basketball. This isn't England soccer. We're not here to celebrate anything besides gold medals and we sure as shit don't lose. The world can keep catching up and they have, we still have All-NBA dudes left and right out there. I don't even want to keep hearing it's exhibition because there are only 3 left of them and then it's 3 group games. This isn't preseason or anything like that where you have plenty of time to figure shit out during the regular season and then get a series for the playoffs. Nope, 3 games then knockout stage. 

You know why else I don't want to hear it's just an exhibition? This team has no blown a second half lead in both games and choked down the stretch. A team with Kevin Durant, Damian Lillard and Bradley Beal out there. Instead we have bricks and Jayson Tatum tossing up airball corner threes. We're out here getting trolled by Nigeria's twitter account for crying out loud. 


Yeah, I'm upset. This is Team USA basketball we're talking about here. This is the Dream Team. This is the Redeem Team and 2012 which might be the best of the group. This is about winning gold medals and beating Angola by 30 while Charles Barkley talks shit. Any loss is unacceptable. Two in a row and 4 of 5? Straight up garbage, like those stupid jerseys. 

PS: Call Melo and Kenneth Lofton Jr., they'd never let this happen.