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Getcha Popcorn Ready! Adam Schefter Says The Dallas Cowboys Are Going To Be This Year's Hard Knocks Team

The first two thoughts I had when I saw this news hit the Twitter were:

1. Thank GOD my beloved Giants didn't get picked for Hard Knocks, because I think Coach Judge could have murdered multiple cameramen before the first day of filming was over.

2. Thank GOD the hated Cowboys got picked because even though I don't have any sort of advanced statistics in front of me, I feel like having your team on Hard Knocks doesn't usually mean success for that season. In a league where everyone from the front office to the coaches to the players try to keep everything hidden, I couldn't be happier that the circus and 24/7 worth of cameras are heading to Big D (sidenote: Haha, Big D). 

I can't get enough of the hilarious dynamic between Jerry Jones and Mike McCarthy at press conferences or when they do the split screen of them between games, so seeing them interacting behind the scenes as cameras pick up their every conversation should make for great TV. Excuse me, it's not TV, it's HBO. But after last season's performance along with admitting he lied about watching every NFL game in his year off from coaching, I'm pretty much expecting McCarthy to be no higher in the Cowboys Caste System than the guy who cleans Jerry's glasses.

The one thing that sucks in all this is that I will probably end up kinda liking some of the Cowboys that are on the bubble for cuts since you can only turn off your humanity so long as some guy trying to live out his dream as his girlfriend and super adorable kid watch on. However, the only time it is acceptable to be a Cowboys fan in the Northeast is if you are a gabagool Cowboys fan (likely also a Yankees fan) like my future coworker Tommy Cheeseballs.

The behind the scenes of Dak returning from injury narrative will probably make me feel like an asshole for rooting against him with every fiber of my being as he throws all his cups directly in the garbage once he is done drinking them, but that'll likely go away the instant he throws a helmet with a star on his head. The narratives about how in-shape Zeke is when he shows up to camp will be much easier to handle considering we will see him on our 50+ inch HDTVs every week. This is also probably the best chance we get of seeing behind the scenes footage of Mike McCarthy smashing watermelons last season, if it actually exists. Fingers crossed!

There are a bunch of other reasons people may get excited for the Cowboys being on Hard Knocks, but I can't think of any right now so I'll just put in the first 10 gifs that I get in the Barstool database when I search for the Dallas Cowboys.

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Yup, i owe you guys a self bonk for that.

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NOW HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC THAT SIGNALS FOOTBALL IS COMING SOON!!!