Poor Wayne Rooney Is Going Viral For Allegedly Cheating With Pictures Of Him Sleeping Next To Girls And A Video Of A Girl Farting On Him Hitting The Internet

I'll admit that I am still a very casual footie fan (of the Champions of Europe) but what the fuck England? Is this the way the lads across the pond treat their athletic royalty? By girls putting married guys on blast online and then literally blasting farts on them? Again, I'm by no means a diehard or a hooligan like Zah or that crazy motherfucker Troopz. But there is some decorum I feel like should be followed to the athletic legends of your country. 

Like I can't imagine Messi has to worry about some chick in Argentina passing gas on him as he rests his eyes (Sidenote: Passing gas is such a great phrase). The closest thing we had to this in the states was when a very single Jetes got caught catching Z's as some nice young ladies fake poured some vodka down their throat. But you didn't see either of them try to give him pink eye. 

This picture will forever make me laugh

Let me make it clear however that I think this is all rubbish. I saw season 1 of Ted Lasso and know how easy it is to stage a soccer scandal for those tea thirsty Brits. But this is still another tough L for England soccer.