I Now Have A Love/Hate Relationship With A Therapy Alligator Named Bubba

Yesterday was the premiere of Episode 2 of #BarstoolVsAmerica. It was a friggen awesome episode that consisted of me acting like a little bitch over a metallic horse head, seeing the Mississippi River, an eating contest, a TIRING challenge on the beach featuring a ballpit which obviously you don't expect a ballpit to be that gut-wrenching but MY GOD going through that was tough, and my meeting with Bubba the Alligator.

As you can see in that video when Bubba was first introduced to us I got SCARED. Which is even more embarassing due to the fact that I probably knew it was coming. On episode 1 in Dallas we had bull riding so I was kind've picking up on the fact that each city's individual challenge would be something specific to said location so once we pulled up a restaurant I was confident it was gator eating. Did I know there'd be a live gator? Of course not. I mean that thing's basically a living, breathing fucking DINOSAUR. 

For those that say I'm not deceptively fast just need to watch this video. Couldn't have been more light on my feet manuevering my way away from Bubba. I later found out as we were waiting for the Blue Team to finish the contest I learned that Bubba was actually a pretty good guy. We're both 90's babies as he's 25 and I'm 24, but more importantly he's a therapy gator that helps out with special needs kids. Great guy indeed. I take back any mean things I may have said about Bubba in the heat of the moment.

Yet even if he's a nice guy & you see this hopping on an elevator...wyd?

Don't forget to check out EPISODE 3 TONIGHT AGAIN AT 7PM. We are in motherfucking NASHVILLE for this one and, frankly, whenever you're in Nashville you know it's gonna be a good time.

PS: If you don't get this excited crossing the Mississippi get the fuck out of my face!

What kind of fucking people did I sign up to be on this road trip with for Christ's sake? When you're on a cross country road trip spending hours on end on the highways you simply NEED TO get excited for the little things on the road to keep both the morale up & you're mind awake. Like for example if you stop at an RV stop to fuel up in the middle of Shreveport, Lousiana you need to make an After Dinner Mintz at the beautiful (probably mutant-filled) pond they have right outside the premises.

And ESPECIALLY when you cross American Icons like the Mississippi River you absolutely better got out of your seat to see that one. It's not every day you get to the enjoy the pleasure of seeing the second-longest river that North America has to offer in the flesh. And WHAT A RIVER it was. I'm no river aficionado, but I'd imagine that bad boy's gotta be up there with the best of the best. I'm writing this from beautiful Manhattan surrounded by both the Hudson River & East River and I can confidently say I'd prefer the Mississippi after driving over it for a grand total of 30 seconds.