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My Transformation Into The Ultimate Reality TV Contestant Is Almost Complete

In my never-ending journey to be a rich and famous reality star, I've done almost everything I can to be the ultimate reality icon. For those keeping track at home, here is what I've accomplished so far with Surviving Barstool, and now Barstool Vs America. 


- Participated in competition shows (2)

Both of these shows had me doing things that required wearing athletic wear and physically exerting myself in some way. I'd say I passed both with flying colors, considering I'm still alive. 

- Become a villain 

On Surviving Barstool I carved out my villain space right away. On Barstool vs America, will I be a villain again? Or will I be out-bad guy'd?

- Get in a fight

Now, on Surviving Barstool, all fights were mental. Yelling, bitch outs, but that's it. For the new show, we're doing a lot of physical stuff. I'll need to get into a physical altercation at some point to prove myself. 

- Stab someone in the back

It's starting to scare me how naturally this comes to me.

- Have a Showmance

Jeff and I (I call him Jeff, not Vibbs, you wouldn't get it) can hardly deny the sparks that fly between us. Some would say he simps for me? Others know that's just how you treat a lady. Who knows… it's a long trip, close quarters, intense challenges that are both physically and mentally draining… crazier things have happened.


- Cry on camera 

It's hard to show emotion like this. I'll get there. I love crying.

- Win

Also very important. Can't have another L on the resume. I MUST win. 

There we have it. I'm so close. I heard Andy Cohen is asking around for my number, he's dying to discuss my future appearances on RHONY.