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The Legend Of Kevin Pillar Hitting Two Home Runs With A Bat Covered In His Own Blood Has Been Born

To answer the question of the top tweet, I don't know and I don't care. You know why? Because the LEGEND of Kevin Pillar hitting a home run with a bat covered in his own blood has already been established and should be placed in the pantheon of legendary baseball feats alongside Babe Ruth calling his shot in the 1932 World Series and Dock Ellis pitching a no-hitter on acid. You can try to poke holes in any sports fable, but once enough parents tell their kids of the folk tale as indisputable truth, that's exactly what it becomes.

Clearly a huuuuuge part of the Mets struggles over the years was the Wilpon's INCOMPETENCE (said in Frank The Tank's voice), which Uncle Stevie has quickly fixed with his big brain and big wallet. Now we have a happy clubhouse, a well-rounded roster, and a team that always battles back no matter how undermanned they are. But a little bit of blood magic can't hurt either. If that type of voodoo can (GAME OF THRONES SPOILER ALERT) take down multiple kings in Westeros, it can sure as shit win a World Series for a previously cursed team. 

So while fracturing his face couldn't have been fun for Kevin Pillar, at least he now has the dark arts working overtime for him with blood magic along with whatever sorcery comes when the names Pillar/Villar appear in the same lineup. 96 wins is pretty much a lock now.