Here's Tom Brady's Answer to the Burning Question of His and Gisele's Game Day Sex Routine

By way of full disclosure, this audio is actually from months ago, and it's from Dax Shepard's podcast:

But seeing as I'm a big solipsism guy who is the center of his own universe and believes that reality is not external to his mind, then I regard anything that is new to me is new to everyone. Besides, it's one of those things that didn't seem to get anything in the way of traction at the time, so here it is. 

More importantly, news of this magnitude is important. Even vital. To all our interests. Who among us hasn't spent the better part of the last dozen years contemplating the same question? I can't tell you how many conversations I've been involved in where this has come up. It's only natural. You've got the two most genetically perfect people on Earth. Married for 12 years. The world's most incredible couple. Clearly they are healthy people with a passionate relationship. One of them has massive responsibility on his broad, muscular shoulders for 16-20 days a year. So what happens on those days? We've all wondered. But someone had the integrity to ask the question no one else would. And we're grateful for it. 

And Brady gave the answer any married guy would. Or could, without getting himself all jammed up. Which is to give three different non-answers. Double negatives. "I wouldn't say it probably never happened." Evasion. "I don't think that would be the moment." Plausible vagueness. "That wouldn't be my pregame warmup." 

Brilliant. Letter perfect, in fact. The man can handle a creepily inappropriate, personal question that is nobody's business but we still all wonder it, like he handles a corner blitz. Like he'd studied the tape and has been preparing for it. If I had to guess, I'd say he practices more of a Mickey Goldmill philosophy in season:

Just because anyone with his success who's still getting to the gym before anyone, running his own practices and leaving millions of dollars on the table is the sort of guy who'd even give that up for the greater good. 

But again, I didn't ask the question. At least not to the GOAT. Only to family, friends, co-workers and complete strangers I just met. So if you've got complaints, take them to Dax Shepard. 

Now that we've got that settled, the only other part of this interview that really stands out was this comment:

Goddamned fascinating way to look at success. Even if you take it as an unsubtle dig at Bill Belichick, saying the Brady's the reason he's lasted longer than any current coach in the league, you've got to hand it to him, that's an interesting approach. Measuring your career by the satisfaction of knowing no one ever got fired because of your failure. Which is exactly the thing that happens all the time in sports. Hell, you can make a case it was happening before he came to New England. Drew Bledsoe had four different offensive coordinators over a five year stretch. Not all through his own fault, mind you. But if he was going to the Super Bowl as often as Brady has, the only coaching changes would come from the guys around him getting hired to run teams elsewhere. In that way, Brady has been more than an unbelievable teammate, he kept people employed and helped the local economy. 

It's amazing what one man is able to accomplish when he's willing to take sex with his flawless wife off the table on game days. Tampa might go 20-0 next year. 

Giphy Images.