Heavily recruited 6'5" 260 pounder excited for his debut season — not exactly wild news, I mean what's the average for NFL rookies? Like, exactly that? I'm sure most of them are excited, doesn't mean we're gonna post an article about all of them. 0.5/10 rating on Standard Barstool Blog Blog-Worthy Scale. (10/10 on Reags Scale.)
Heavily recruited 6'5" 260 pounder excited for summer vacation and sleepaway camp before his debut season OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL. BECAUSE HE'S FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. —
Thinking of myself in 8th grade, how I'd rather die than post a picture of me as a freshman in high school. If you insist on visualizing it, imagine the exact opposite of every single aspect of this photograph.
Jay Terry walking into the local middle school to register for classes after moving into town:
I mean that gif is not even really an exaggeration. He's 14. Allegedly.
They're telling me Justus Terry…the kid in this picture…is about to start high school.
Alright, well, unless the next story to come out of this is the latest "35 year old foreign man dupes local school" headline, I guess I'll take him at his word. Which, good for him. He'll look great in Alabama Crimson just as soon as he, you know, finishes puberty, gets a drivers license, gets his first handjob, plays Tevye in the annual production of Fiddler on the Roof after signing up on a whim just because his crush was in theater. Etc etc etc.
You know, high school stuff. Time to focus on his AP classes and his training, jusssstttttt as soon as middle school wraps up, and right after the hangover from his 15th birthday party wears off.
The most impressive thing I did in middle school was get the Halle Berry Monster's Ball scene fully buffered on Morpheus on the family desktop without getting either caught or kicked off the modem.
Justus Jay Terry is considering what D1 school sets him up best for the NFL and has the hottest female population and party scene, in between sets of bench pressing his house and Googling "is it normal to grow muscles on your (insert every part of body)?"