PLEASE STOP GHOST RIDING THE NEW ELECTRIC BIKES INTO LAKE MICHIGAN

I don't want to get too preachy here guys but the electric Divvy is a complete game changer. The black bikes have progressed out of the pilot phase into a regular feature and we need to respect that move. If you've sampled one of these bikes then you 100% know where I'm coming from. For the newbies, please do me a favor and listen. Making your way around the summer festival season has never been easier. 

For starters let's talk about Uber and Lyft being $75 to go 2 miles with a 30 minute wait. Maybe that's dramatic but you get the point. The supply and demand curve has been flipped upside down due to carjackings which is just a preposterous thing to say out loud but that's the truth. The days of a casual and convenient Uber are long gone. Getting from point A to B requires some creativity. 

The Brown Line only goes so far, literally. Slow and steady bus rides don't move the needle either. That's where the bike scene really comes into play. And if you know me like I hope you do, you know I'm your classic bike advocate. Barstool Chicago's always had strong biking representation going back to Big Cat's tested philosophy of buying one shitty bike at the start of every summer. This should be familiar territory. 

So building off that, it should be no surprise I'm all over the Divvy program. It's the perfect way to bounce around neighborhoods like coming from a Cubs game and going back to Lincoln Park. Or getting West Loop lunch at JP Graziano then day drinking in Wicker. The examples are boundless but the point is consistent: convenient, non-committal and comfortable transportation at an affordable annual fee. Almost a decade into Divvy and it's one of the few things Chicago government hasn't completely fucked up over that time. 

Shoutout Chicago Department of Transportation. 

That said, we've reached a critical juncture in the Divvy program with the expanded rollout of the black electric bikes and we need to get it right as a city. These things are fucking awesome. 17-20mph with a light push and none of the goofy spandex. GPS technology that allows you to park and dock the bike anywhere on dry land. Reinforced wheel bays to ensure long-term alignment across tens of thousands of uses. Without exaggeration you're shaving about 50% off google map's ETA without a drop of sweat or the 5x Uber surcharge. 

I'm telling you guys it's a different way of life. Hear me now or believe me later or whatever the saying is. These things are out to serve and improve the availability of your summer social life. Granted it's objectively dangerous so maybe invest in a helmet (I like orange) or know your limitations. But at the very least don't ghost ride them into Lake Michigan. We don't need to give the mayor's office an opportunity to spike this shit just as it's starting to pick up. Let them ruin something else. I'm trying to get to Rib Fest in style.