Independent- A 20-year-old man has been caught on a police camera attempting to chew off his fingerprints after being arrested in a 2015 Mercedes that had been reported stolen in Florida. Video footage from inside Lee County Sheriff’s Office police car shows Kenzo Roberts vigorously chewing the tips of his fingers, scratching them and rubbing them against the backseat police cage. The video shows Roberts swallowing bits of skin as he tries to avoid being detected by the officer in the front seat. Despite his attempts, fingerprint scanners were able to identify him. Police allegedly found that he was wanted elsewhere in Florida on two felony warrants for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
Well there ya go. There’s your answer to why living a life of crime would fucking suck. The movies trick us into thinking it would be sneaky awesome. Think about the first 1/3 of every gangster/mafia movie that’s ever been made. They make you feel like you’re an idiot for not being a gangster. Think about the Push It To The Limit montage from Scarface. A life of crime couldn’t look better. It’s all fast women, fast cars, sex, power, money counting machines and pet tigers. There’s never a part in the montage where it cuts to a guy in the back of a squad car chewing off his finger tips to avoid identification and it not working. They still identified that guy. After all that work and all that chewing they were still like, “Okay that was disgusting but we still know you’re Kenzo Roberts and you’re wanted for a whole bunch of other crimes. You’re going to jail.” That’s the other thing. Look more guilty dude. He did his lawyers no favors with that stunt. Last time I checked innocent people don’t gnaw on their finger tips with a camera right in their face. Chewing and swallowing pieces of your own fingers while in police custody is the same thing as a guilty plea as far as I’m concerned.