Today In Florida: Roughly A Zillion Cars Waited For Hours In Traffic For The First White Castle In Orlando To Open

USA! USA! USA! Just when I thought I couldn't be surprised by the actions of Florida Men and Women, we get a video of a horde of them waiting in line for hours to get a taste of the world's premiere drunk food at 9 AM on a Monday morning. How beautiful is that? 

Every warmblooded American worth their escalated sodium levels gets butterflies in their stomach when they see a new fast food joint is opening up in their area that has never been there before. I shook my fist at the TV countless times as Sonic and Chick-Fil-A aired commercials despite there not being a restaurant within 200+ miles of me then immediately planned my maiden journey to them the minute they opened in the Tri-State Area. If you want to burn up a bunch of gas and your entire morning waiting for a Crave Case and some Chicken Rings, go for it. Shit, while you're there book the Valentine's Day special where you can wine, dine, and if you're lucky 69 your lover inside not just any White Castle but THE biggest free standing White Castle in the United States.

That beautiful structure is the closest thing to fast food royalty if not American royalty. Then once those Floridians are done getting their American on there, they can really hammer home their patriotism with a quick stop at Walt Disney World, unless they needed to hit el bano after the orgasmic feeling of scratching that White Castle itch summed up perfectly once upon a time by Harold and Kumar.

God bless White Castle. God bless Florida. God bless America.