Freddie Freeman Sucks So Bad He Couldn’t Even Touch Anthony Rizzo Tonight

A lot of people like to talk shit to me about Rizzo because they say Freddie Freeman is better. People say Freeman has better and bigger teeth. That Rizzo is too Italian and loves Stromboli too much to break up a double play. Then you get into advanced stats. Weighted runs created plus. Wins above replacement. Win probability added. Nights out at underground. In all material respects, Anthony Rizzo is the better baseball player and that’s before we get to World Series Championships.

Truth be told, there’s really no argument to anyone at this point. This is backyard, old school, little league settling of a long-standing fake beef. Two big swinging dicks of the National League for going on a decade. And now it’s finally settled. Thank goodness. 

Don’t show this blog to Big T.