Good evening sports fans and welcome to my 16th and FINAL FINAL 2021 NFL mock draft. It's been an unbelievably long offseason as we have relentlessly studied and exhausted every available piece of scouting information. We've also gone through all of the data and the tape. If there's a 60-cone shuttle time then I've seen it. If you've jumped out of a pool lately I've heard about it. No stone has gone unturned which is why I'm delighted to present this to you with a 99% confidence interval. That's at least 5-10 points higher than most Mock Experts so keep that in mind as we move through the list.
What the fuck does Carl know about drafting?
Which reminds me: Barstool Chicago will be on the En Ef Ell Live stream tonight representing the Bears. It's me and Eddie and Chief and WSD and Big Cat going LIVE in fucking prime time. Don't miss out and buy some merch.
Don't miss it.
The first round is tonight which is a big deal for a lot of people including me. Even if my simulations say Ryan Pace is going to set the franchise back another 5 years, I still take this shit seriously. Here's what I got:
1. Jags - Trevor Lawrence
2. New York Jets - Zach Wilson
3. Niners - Mac Jones
4. Falcons - Someone Julio Jones can mentor
5. Bengals - Joe Burrow's future roommate
6. Miami Dolphins - Alabama receiver
7. Detroit Lions - Foundational left tackle
8. Carolina Panthers TRADE TO CHICAGO BEARS - Justin Fields/Trey Lance (whoever is worse)
9. Denver Broncos - 3-4 defensive impact player
10 Dallas Cowboys - Somebody who beat the shit out of Arkansas on a regular basis
11. New York Giants - EDGE
12. Philadelphia Eagles - The other Alabama receiver
13. Los Angeles Chargers - Player with the most underrated tape of the draft
14. Minnesota Vikings - Defensive athlete that gives Mike Zimmer options and opposing offensive coordinator nightmares
15. Patriots - the better player between Justin Fields and Trey Lance
16. Cardinals - the only defensive player they pick for the next 2 years
17. Raiders - Big Ten outside linebacker that will play on the line but underperform until going to a better system and emerging in his late 20's
18. Miami Dolphins - EDGE with substance abuse issues
19. Washington Football Team - Defensive lineman. Big reach.
20. Panthers - Future Hall of Famer that plays whatever position the Bears need the most over the next 10 years
21. Colts - EDGE from Miami that only played in 6 career games but was a top 5 prospect in high school
22. Titans - some guy who wishes he didn't run across the middle with his head down against Will Compton in training camp
23. Jets - the answer to a regional trivia question 11 years from now
24. Steelers - offensive weapon with slow 40 time that doesn't miss a start for 5 straight seasons
25. Jaguars - playmaking corner with bad footwork
26. Browns - one-dimension defensive lineman
27. Ravens - the fastest player in the draft
28. Saints - physical guard that plays in space and blocks well down field that will instantly be a first team all pro
29. Packers - hopefully Satan
30. Bills - EDGE that can move inside and give the offense different looks in a zone blitz
31. Ravens - Ball hawking safety with absurdly high football IQ that earned a scholarship going into his junior year
32. Buccs - Kyle Trask
If 5 of these hit then I'm basically the smartest mock draft guy of all time. Biggest takeaway is the Bears getting weird and trading up. There's no doubt in my mind this happens and there's even further no doubt that we're going to blow it. At least this time I'm ready for it. Big thanks to Kyle Brandt this week for helping me get there. Great interview