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Today In Australia Is Terrifying: An Australian Suburb Has Been Invaded By Thousands Upon Thousands Of Cockatoos

CRIKEY!!! As a self-described bird lover that currently resides in the suburbs, I can't explain just how delightful it is listening to the sweet sounds of my feathered friends as the sun shines in the sky.

However, my reaction to this video is what it usually is when watching a video from Australia: FUUUUUUUCK THAT. The reason you sell your soul and move to the suburbs is to get away from loud noises and having a better than good chance of getting shit on you when you leave the house. A comical amount of cockatoos may not be as bad as any of the venomous creatures that inhabit Australia or the predatory motherfuckers swimming around it. But is is still legitimate winged nightmare fuel that you cannot hide from in the comfort of your own house or kill since they are apparently a protected species.

The worst part about all this is that it's impossible to complain about cockatoos. Sure if you see that video, you will recoil in horror. But the mere mention of the word cockatoo makes me giggle. It's like getting upset about a bunch of pussy willows taking over your neighborhood. And good luck calling the Australian police for assistance with the big cockatoo problem you are experiencing outside your house while they deal with every day crime, the aforementioned gaggle of poisonous animals on that murderous island, and the far too common salt water crocodile attacks.