The Oldest Person In America Has Died At 116, Leaving Behind 68 Grandchildren, 125 Great-Grandchildren, and 120 Great-Great Grandchildren

Let me be on record as saying that as soon as I turn 75 years old, I've seen enough. There's nothing I want less in this world than to have someone else have to drive me around, spoon feed me, and worst of all, wipe my ass. I hope that 50 years from now we can just mutually part ways with life around the age of 80. In fact, I wouldn't mind hanging up the cleats as early as 50. I know people enjoy grandkids and whatever, but my life has constantly been on the decline since I turned 21. I can't imagine another 50-60 years of this thing. But regardless, this lady just lived until 116 years old** and that's a damn impressive life.

The reason I had to put an asterisk is because she's literally so old that they don't even know how old she is.

Her precise age was unclear. One set of census records shows her birth as Aug. 15, 1904, but another set shows she was born in 1905. However, last year the Gerontology Research Group reportedly declared she was the oldest person in the US.

1904 or 1905. This lady has literally seen it all. I was gonna list a couple major world events she's lived through like the Moon Landing and the invention of everything from the automobile to the internet, but I got caught up and decided to list way too many of the major events she's seen in the last 116 years.

1904 - Hester Ford is born and Teddy Roosevelt is elected President

1912 - Titanic sinks

1914 - World War I begins

1919 - Prohibition

1920 - Women get the right to vote

1927 - Babe Ruth hits 60 homeruns

1939 - World War II begins

1941 - Pearl Harbor

1945 - Atomic Bomb dropped

1954 - Brown vs Board of Education

1963 - JFK Assassination

1972 - Watergate Scandal

1975 - Vietnam War ends

1991 - USSR is dissolved 

1998 - Clinton / Lewinsky scandal

2001 - 9/11

2008 - Obama elected President

2020 - Coronavirus  

Insane. Obviously I could've listed a million more things. But I wonder what she would say the craziest thing she's lived through would be? What's wild is that I bet she'd answer coronavirus. In a lifespan of 116 years where she's seen wars, moon landings, atomic bombs, and so many inventions that are now a way of life, I bet everyone having to wear a mask and stay inside tops the list.

And they say she has 12 children, that turned into 68 grandchildren, which turned into 125 great-grandchildren, which turned into at least 120 great-great grandchildren. This lady could literally start a school for just her family and it would be 5x bigger than some of the schools here in Ohio. And I still don't even think the size of her family is the wildest stat to come from her life.

Ford’s husband of 45 years died in 1963, a half-century ago, according to the report.

That guy lived a full life!! He lived to be about 60 years old, which I know isn't extremely old but especially being born in the early 1900s, that's a pretty good life. Was married for 45 years! But not only did she outlive him, she outlived him by another 60 years. Doubled him up and then some. 

Anyways, RIP to Hester Ford. A life well lived. Congrats to the newest "oldest living person in America", whoever that is. Do you think they know? Do you think #2 and their family were just sitting around waiting for ol' lady Ford to pass so they could pop champagne like the '72 Dolphins? I wouldn't hate that move. They just became famous….for a little bit longer