Holy Shit, Carvel Is Actually Releasing A Crunchies Cereal Tomorrow

Giphy Images.

Blogger's Note: You know it's great news when I use the endless sunglasses gif

So I've been sitting on this blog for a couple of weeks because this story came out on April Fool's Day and as Michael Strahan taught us, there is no statutes of limitations of when you can play an April Fool's joke.

But now that we are two weeks removed from April Fool's Day and Carvel tweeted this out today, so it's time to get excited or agree to ban April Fool's jokes forever.

Crunchies are an elite ice cream topping. We're talking Tier 1 in the frozen confectionary game and a core reason why Carvel has been a force for a billion years right next to Fudgie The Whale, that silly son of a bitch Cookie Puss, and this song which was an absolute heater back in the day.

If you don't want to eat ice cream and/or have sex after seeing that, you don't have a pulse


So of course after years at the top of the ice cream game, the next evolutionary step for Carvel was to bring Crunchies to the breakfast table. To be clear, I want this cereal to actually be Carvel Crunchies. Not a cereal modeled after Carvel Crunchies but Crunchies put into a clear plastic bag that is then put into a cardboard box. I don't want to hear that Crunchies are a dessert and not a breakfast. What I consider a breakfast is between me and my God, especially since we are still in this weird coronaworld. So if I want to eat Crunchies in a bowl of milk at 8 AM, I will. So you can bet your ass I'll be getting my free box of Carvel Crunchies tomorrow or writing a VERY strongly worded tweet if they are sold out before I get there.