We have animated saltines with Mickey Mouse limbs and sores cracking up the courts. Shit, we even got one lawyer straight up laughing at the other one. It's madness, I tells ya! MADNESS!
"Let the record reflect Counsel thought it was funny, as well."
"The saltine took the forefront.""Objection. It's a cracker."
All accurate, 100% real lines a stenographer was forced to type in a serious manner for the US Southern District Of NY courts. Only in America. Honestly, I may have to send our ex-employee a fruit basket or something. This court content is getting 10000x more action for Barstool than anything he ever did actually working for the company. Allegedly, of course. Don't wanna get sued. Again. Especially over stuff that's considered "Medical Science".
PS - That went well.
PSS - Live now if you wanna join in the office