Lou Lamoriello Continues To Be A Maniacal Overlord, Forces Newly Acquired Forward Kyle Palmieri To Shave His Beard Before Practice

I would love to know what Lightning Lou's reaction would be if Palmieri just told him to kick rocks. Like "hey, bud, you just traded away a 1st round pick in the 2021 Draft, a 4th rounder in 2022, and a couple of depth guys for me. You really going to make me a health bomb if I don't shave my beard?"

I get that Palmieri is a big team guy and I'm sure he wants to play. But it's not even like Lou is paying his full salary right now. The Devils are still paying 50%. So if I were Palmieri, I'd at least head into negotiations with Lou and tell him that I'll shave half of my beard now and the other half once that old bag of bones pays up. 

But this is yet another example of why no matter how loaded this Islanders roster gets, I'll never take them seriously as a legitimate Cup Contender. You can't have some vampire looking head ass over here micromanaging the whole squad and then expect that team to not hit a wall eventually before the Cup Final. You look at a team like Toronto right now and the Leafs are so much better off without Disco Lou making every single decision on and off the ice for Matthews and Marner. It is impossible for the boys to be buzzin when they always have to look over their shoulder to make sure that Dracula doesn't see them having too much fun. 

So sure. The Islanders picked up one of the best assets available at the trade deadline this year. But is it really going to make a difference? Not when Palmieri needs to spend an extra 45 minutes every day shaving that insanely thick beard of his. 

Maybe Lou is getting a little softer in his old age, though...

Elite chirp. I need the Flyers to go out and get Connor Carrick before Monday. 

@JordieBarstool