Kevin Durant Logged Onto Instagram, Murdered A Man, And Then Dragged His Corpse Around The Internet For All To See

I can't start this without repeating myself: Kevin Durant is one of the most online human beings to walk this Earth. And he uses the world wide web better than 99% of the population. The only upsetting part of #BurnerGate was that he never needed to do it. He always used to tweet and communicate recklessly, I'm just glad he's back full time. 

Now, should he be threatening every day civilians like this? Random nobodies just giving their opinions about basketball and the like? Yes, yes he should. KD is nothing if not an equal opportunity threatener. He'll call everyone a broke bitch and challenge anyone to a fight over this internet shit. Doesn't matter if you're Dan Katz trying to grind out some offensive rebounds on a Sunday morning or this guy whose name I blurred out to protect. 

If Durant's not careful, lawyers may get involved. Just because someone talked shit to you doesn't mean you get to talk shit back to them. That's clearly illegal, I read it in a book somewhere. And these wont just be any ol' public defender serving you in court. These are some of the finest lawyers the US legal system has ever encountered, might I add.