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THIS JUST IN: Kyle Pitts Is Indeed A Freak Of Nature

Despite being someone that doesn't watch much college football, I had heard all the stories of Kyle Pitts being a crazy stupid athlete from the unlimited draft fodder on my timeline. But it's days like today where you really get to laugh at how ridiculous it is that someone who will have TE eligibility in fantasy football can move like that. Still no word if that 4.44 is "Official" or "Unofficial" but I am going to go ahead nonetheless and say that Kyle Pitts is officially from another planet after seeing someone that fast have numbers like this on their physical.

Is it silly to get excited about how big and fast a human who plays a sport filled with a bunch of other big and fast humans as he runs in underwear and sneakers? Of course! But dreaming of that human being on your favorite team while acting as a matchup nightmare for opposing teams since he is too fast for linebackers but too big for DBs is a lot more fun than losing your mind wondering if another super athletic human will sign for $325 million to play for your favorite baseball team over the next decade. 

This is the last day of that crazy time where all the biggest NFL free agents have signed and baseball hasn't started yet, resulting in us obsessing over every single draft prospect's workout. Doubly so since there was no combine. But until I see that beautiful red, white, and blue bunting hanging around baseball stadiums during Opening Day tomorrow, I am going to dream of this freak of nature somehow falling to my team in a month, even if my team already has a "Pro Bowler" (lol) at his position.

Honestly, seeing 0 Drops was the sexiest number I read in this entire blog after last year's nightmare with Evan Engram. Then I saw this tweet which is preposterous if not a slightly misleading since I truly don't believe we will ever see another Megatron again until NFL players are allowed to start using robotic limbs, which granted probably isn't as far away as we think

Speaking of athletic freaks of nature...

Give me Chase. Or Pitts.  Or Waddle. Or Slater. Or an EDGE. Fuck it, give me Eli again and put him at tight end. Coach Judge will make it work with any of these guys.