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People Are Furious At Nike And Lil Nas X For These Satanic Sneakers

Before we make fun of people for being afraid of a shoe, let's get a major fact straight right off the top: Nike didn't have shit to do with these. 

People just don't like to read. Nike makes Air Maxes. These are, indeed, Air Maxes. MSCHF, a company that specializes in customizations, bought up a bunch of Air Maxes and made a special collab with Lil Nas X. Which makes people like this:

look very funny. Two years ago, MSCHF dropped these Walk On Water Ones:

These were also mocked, mostly because they're fucking preposterous, but I don't remember a huge outcry over these being blasphemous. I'm sure it existed, people will get mad about calling the sky blue, but nothing like what the inverse has caused over the last 48 hours. Which, from a strictly religious point of view, feels wildly backwards. Claiming anyone can walk on water ruins the entire kayfabe. Sure, the devil is bad, I get that. But if he's so bad how come he didn't even make the Ten Commandments? Taking the Lord's name in vein, worshipping false idols, those made the list. In fact they're right up towards the top of the list. I didn't read anything about demonic shoes on those tablets. Really makes you wonder if, finally, after a 2000 year run of clean play, a tinge of hypocrisy has seeped into religion? No, no that can't be right. 

Perhaps the most alarming news to come out of all this, Nick "Swaggy P" Young is putting his foot down once and for all!

Little rule I like to live by: I don't form any opinions until Swaggy speaks. Seeing that he's anti-Satan shoes wasn't what I was expecting in the slightest. Now I think I have to be anti-Satan shoes, too. Really got me in a box here.

For me, a child of the internet, it's hard not to root for Lil Nas X. This was just a kid who ran a Nicki Minaj fan page, spending his days trolling away like anyone else on the web. One day he decided to make a song for an unofficial Red Dead Redemption 2 trailer, and that song became quite literally the biggest song of all time. No matter how famous he gets, he refuses to stop trolling. He will never log off. These sneakers, parlayed with his new song and video, have had him trending all weekend. These shoes will sell out, get put on the secondary market at huge mark ups, and round and round we go. He'll put out more music, he'll keep trolling, his fans will love it, and people who get outraged over everything that happens will keep stepping in his bear traps. I don't know what comes after, "Fucking the devil in hell," but once you open that door you really got a lot of real estate to stretch your legs and take it wherever the fuck you want. 

UPDATE - Lil Nas X has issued a very serious apology.