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There's a Cargo Ship The Size of The Empire State Building Stuck In The Suez Canal Which is Blocking $9.5 Billion In Daily Global Shipments

How bad are you at your job? Did you get called on during a zoom call today and have no idea what to say? Did you forget to file something? Whatever it is, you did not fuck up more than this cargo ship captain who managed to get his giant boat, the size of the goddamn Empire State Building, stuck in maybe the most important global trading canal in the world. This motherfucker has this thing sideways and it's reportedly blocking around 237 ships right now. That number will only continue to grow as the days go on. 

Every hour this ship stays lodged it costs the global economy $400 million. Not great Bob! 

As the whole world memes this to death I came across this tweet.

Why wouldn't this work? Am I just underestimating how heavy a cargo ship as long as the Empire State Building weighs? Most likely yes, but this is worth a shot as far as I see it. Why not just take the loss and sink it or blow it up? Get everyone off the ship and just blow it to smithereens.

So how does this even happen in the first place?

According to nautical tracking service VesselFinder, the massive Ever Given charted a route resembling a penis, testicles and an enormous butt in the Red Sea before it became stuck, causing an intercontinental traffic jam in the maritime artery. 

There's no way to tell if that's real or not but this so this is the most ridiculous story in the history of the world. 10% of the maritime trade held up because some dude was drawing a penis in the water. The most fired anyone has ever been fired before. Auto prison. We are living in some kind of simulation.