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75% of All Singles Say Dad Bods Are Their Favorite Body Type

Source - Embrace the bulge: Scales have once again been tipped in favor of the common man.

Nearly 75% of singles are more turned on by a “dad bod” over any other body type — including a mate with rock-hard washboard abs, according to a sexy new survey of 2,000 people by Dating.com. ...

If pandemic dating involved lots of FaceTime dates, Netflix and nights in with Seamless, post-pandemic dating could be defined by showing off your vaccine card, throwing caution to the wind, and proudly parading your COVID-15 weight gain. 

“Singles are beginning to embrace more body types as they know the struggle of staying in shape during the pandemic,” Dating.com VP Maria Sullivan told Insider.  

Sure, another survey by the American Psychological Association of 3,013 adults found that 42% of respondents gained an average of 29 pounds, while 10% packed on more than 50 pounds during lockdown. ...

But there’s no need to get buff, according to the new poll, which reported that 20% of singles said “that body type doesn’t matter” when it comes to lusting after a mate. 

I think I'm going to have to agree with what Big Cat said just over a year ago when confronted with this same topic and call shananigans:

At the risk of this turning into a hacky stand up premise, men and women are different. And by that I don't mean what kind of body type they prefer. There is no one standard for attractiveness when it comes to what people are drawn to, regardless of gender or orientation. For everyone who prefers their women runway model thin, there's someone who'd take Christina Hendricks any day. And I'm with him. 

Giphy Images.

Long before Mix-a-Lot was knighted by the queen for preferring his women zaftig, Peter Paul Rubens was celebrating the curvy female form (NSFW, classic art). I've got a friend who, if I send him a Gal Gadot gif, his first instinct is to send her a stack of stuff-crust pizzas to make her more to his liking. The heart wants what the heart wants. And I have no doubt that works both ways. 

But don't expect us to believe 75% of women like dad bods better than all the other bods. You can't get three out of every four people to agree on whether and election was legitimate or whether a vaccine wiped out polio or if the Snyder Cut was a better "Justice League." If "Family Feud" surveyed 100 Americans and asked them to name a country to the north, 75 of them wouldn't answer "Canada." This is a statistical dead heat with the percentage of dentists surveyed who recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum. And they swore an oath to fight tooth decay. So no, I am not buying what these respondents are selling. 

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And therein lies the difference between hetero men and hetero woman. Generally speaking, men will admit that they are attracted to looks, whatever their particular "type" is. By and large, women have this compulsion to say that looks are not a factor for them. That they're attracted more to the spiritual and intellectual than the physical. Which is nonsense. I'm not saying handsomeness is the only consideration, but it is a major one. Much more than these studies will ever admit. 

There's a deep, ingrained, evolutionary process at work here that is more powerful than any opinion poll. Men are biologically drawn to the females that their primitive subconscious brain tells them have traits that will make them able to procreate. Women are biologically drawn to the males that their primitive subconscious brain tell them have traits that will make them good providers. In other words, the physical strength to hunt, build, and fight off enemies. If that's wrong, then it's a few hundred thousand years too late do do anything about it. 

For example, take sense of humor, which, according to these dating sites, always seems to be the most valued trait women look for in a man. And I've heard women I know or worked with repeat it a million times. And when they do, I present what I call "The 21 Jump Street" thought experiment. Watch that movie. Then close your eyes and imagine yourself hooking up with one of the costars. Now, is it Jonah Hill, who is objectively hilarious? Or Channing Tatum, who is objectively handsome and chiseled from stone? And invariably the answer is Tatum, but because "he's really funny too." Oh, yeah. He's a hoot. Look, I'm not saying he sucks. He's somewhat funny at times. But he didn't play a stripper in both "Magic Mike" films because he's 1994 Jim Carrey. He was in those because women want to see him with his shirt and pants off. And that's fine. It's nature. So just admit it. 

Believe me, I'd love to think that 75 out of 100 women would rather sleep with your typical, high fructose, cholesterol packed, Doritos dust covered, functioning alcoholic Barstool blogger than John Cena. But that would be living in a fantasy world where unattractiveness is attractive and blobby, flab covered torsos with zero definition are more desirable than a sculpted frame with 12-pack abs. We don't live in that world. So quit lying to us. Unless you're one of that 75% and you were actually telling the truth. In which case, I'm at jerry@barstoolsports.com. We need to talk.