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A Big Honkin Swan Is Tormenting A Town In England By Knocking On Front Doors For Hours Upon Hours

Who the fuck does this swan think it is? Just sitting there knocking on doors. Have some respect, Cedric. Have some goddamn respect. Do you know how annoying that is? I hate when people knock on my door. Gotta get my 95 pound dog to settle down and realize someone isn't there to play with him. Gotta make sure my kid doesn't go running outside. Gotta get out of my recliner and go answer the door then talk to a person? No thank you. Now all that but for a swan? Fuck swans. 

I will say it's fucking laugh out loud funny reading the article on it and listing people as victims:

The feathered pest does it throughout the summer and nothing seems to deter him.

Victim Stephen Legg, 70, said: “It doesn’t do any damage but it’s extremely irritating.

I just picture old Stephen Legg here losing his mind day after day. Sitting down for a nice dinner and immediately hearing the knocking. You know Cedric is all cocky about it too. Struts up to the door and starts knocking. There's gotta be a way to avoid it, I don't know how, but there's gotta be a way. Open the door and throw bread or something. Chase it with a broom. There's gotta be an answer. 

The residents are in my T's and P's though. Just a cocky ass swan running the neighborhood.