Sometimes Shrimp Tails Show Up In Your Box Of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, What Can Ya Do?

Here I was minding my own business, reeling from another disgraceful Maryland basketball season, and I see Cinnamon Toast Crunch is trending on Twitter. "Another stupid online cereal debate", I think to myself, before clicking it to see what stupid blue checkmark decided it would be so super original to have a debate about best breakfast cereals for the 10,000th time. So think about how elated I was to find out Cinnamon Toast Crunch was actually trending because Rone's friend (and Topanga's husband) Jensen found shrimp tails in his cereal!!! I was over the moon! 

How does shrimp find its way into a bag of CTC? Gotta imagine on the production line the person was enjoying themselves a nice little shrimp cocktail and some tails got lost in the mix. I can't find a gif of what I'm picturing, but if you've seen a "How It's Made" type show on Food Network, you know what I'm thinking about. When the assembly line workers are checking for quality, it all moves so fast, so I could totally see how shrimp could get lost in the mix.

So hey, what can ya do? If 1 out of every 3 trillion bags have shrimp in them, I think they're doing a pretty good job. Think about it- I've been alive for 32 years and never, not once, have I ever found shrimp in my cereal, nor have I ever heard or read of anyone else finding shrimp in theirs. That's a pretty good ratio of no shrimp to shrimp. So maybe in 3 trillion more bags of cereal a lobster claw will show up, and that'll be ok too. As they say in the old country, things happen when you party naked.

UPDATE: CLICK FOR PART 2. IT GETS SO MUCH WORSE.