Dude Gives Up Robbing Subway After Teenagers Behind The Counter Just Ignore Him
NBC News – Police in Coventry, Rhode Island, are looking for an understandably frustrated man who tried to rob a Subway sandwich shop but was foiled by two teenage clerks who did what teenagers do best — they ignored him. The man was described as being in his mid-40s to mid-50s, heavyset and wearing what appeared to be a white T-shirt tied to the top of his head with a tan plastic shopping bag, Coventry police said. When he demanded money at the counter Tuesday, “the two teenage employees did not respond to the suspect,” they said. The man — who looks exasperated in security camera video of the incident — “became agitated and mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the business,” police said. Police said Thursday a second man who was seen earlier at a liquor store with the suspect had spoken to investigators and wasn’t considered a person of interest
Who the fuck robs a goddam Subway? That has gotta be the worst decision in this history of burglary. They practically give their sandwiches away man. 5 dollar footlongs. That Subway would need to sell a thousand fucking sandwiches for you to walk out of there with 5 grand. Maybe a little more considering you always get the chips and drink and then there’s tax. Still, point remains, thats just a poor choice for a robbery target.
Plus you didnt even factor in the little assholes behind the counter. Subway sandwich makers have gotta be the dumbest motherfuckers on earth. They are literally too stupid to rob. And I can tell you the exact problem this guy probably ran into – he ran all up in there like “Open up the register and give me all the cash!” That doesnt register with Subway employees. The only way you can begin an interaction with a Subway Sandwich maker is by answering the question “What kind of bread?” If you order your sandwich in ANY other order – you say the meat first or the name of the sandwich first – they cannot function. Its honestly like they are robots that are activated your answer to your bread choice. So if you just said “Can I get a 12 inch Italian Herb and cheese…AND GIVE ME ALL THE FUCKING MONEY!” this robbery would have been perfect. Instead 2 little assholes probably high as shit just sat there ignoring you until you left.
Complete and utter failure all around.