"Scientists" Discover That Big Dumb Bitch Oviraptor Getting Fossilized While Sitting On An Easter Egg Basket of Dinosaur Eggs

Giphy Images.

An international team of scientists has announced the discovery of an extraordinary fossilized nest in China, preserving at least eight separate dinosaurs from 70 million years ago. 

The clutch of ancient eggs belongs to a medium-sized adult oviraptor, and we know that because the parent is actually part of the fossil. The skeleton of this ostrich-like theropod is positioned in a crouch over two dozen eggs, at least seven of which were on the brink of hatching and still contain embryos inside. 

The ancient scene is unprecedented, and provides the first hard evidence that dinosaurs were brooding parents, laying their eggs and incubating them for quite a long time. 

"This kind of discovery - in essence, fossilized behavior - is the rarest of the rare in dinosaurs," says paleontologist Matt Lamanna from the Carnegie Museum of Natural History (CMNH).  

"Though a few adult oviraptorids have been found on nests of their eggs before, no embryos have ever been found inside those eggs."

Im so sick of scientists acting like every discovery is the biggest discovery and a game changer. Get the fuck outta here. Everyone who is anyone in the dino world knew that these big beefy lizards shit eggs and sat on them to warm them until they hatched. EVERYONE. Hell, we even know that some dinosaurs turned into birds- birds like the red tailed hawk that got its name by being a hawk with a red tail. 

I dont wanna sound like Im anti dinosaur discovery because that's not the truth. I love discovering things about those big idiots with peanut brains. To that end, I wanna share with you some facts that I know off the top of my head about the oviraptor if that is its real name. 

These idiots: had no teeth lol. They ate with a beak. Again, with the birds. The had a diet of hard fruits, eggs, and possibly shellfish. Horny? Oysters are an aphrodisiac so it's certainly possible plus, remember now, this fossil was found with eggs. How did those eggs get fertilized? Cream pie city. These dummies were also 6 feet long. Big deal. That's a little lizard in the Late Cretaceous period which we know was about 85-75 million years ago. 

If you'd like to learn more about dinosaurs, this documentary is a nice little primer.