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Oh Boy, Georges St. Pierre Said That The Fan Theories For The Falcon And The Winter Soldier Could Be Even Bigger Than The Ones For WandaVision

Nope. Uh uh. Hell fucking no. Fool me once Kevin Feige, shame on you. Fool me twice, you ain't gonna fool me again! I don't care how many aerospace engineers are teased, hexes are shown, or if Hugh Jackman himself starts slicing and dicing motherfuckers with actual adamantium claws. I am not going back to the deepest depths of Reddit to break apart every single Falcon And Winter Soldier theory to its last atom like I did with WandaVision. I won't do it. I can't do it. I shan't do it. I mean I literally do not have the ability to do it because waking up at 3 AM and spending every waking hour where I wasn't parenting my kids looking for Easter eggs in a fictional show had me looking like this.

Giphy Images.

Don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED that Disney+ has gone the episodic route with Mandalorian, WandaVision, and now The Falcon And The Winter Soldier instead of dropping a full season for us to binge like a farmer throws slop at pigs. But a product of that is all of us diving into every nook and cranny of every episode to the point we are calling innocent people being held hostage by a witch the literal devil.

Oops, sorry about that Herb! I can't do anything about what Robbie and I said in the basement in the past, but I refuse to go down the rabbit hole again and have another perfectly good series ruined by hype and conspiracy theories. So politely go suck an egg Georges unless you want to get a dick punch like the one I am going to give Paul Bettany for not only getting the hopes of myself and millions of people for a cameo that never came but sweet Jeff D. Lowe's hopes too.

Ahhhhh who am I kidding? The first time I see the the letter X in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier (we need to do better than just using the characters names as the titles, Marvel), I am going to be expecting to see Professor X before the credits roll. And if God forbid there is a number 4 on the screen in an episode where there is rumored to be a Chris Evans cameo, I will fully expect that it will be as Fox's Human Torch instead of as the Captain America character he played in a zillion different MCU movies. Also everyone is Hydra in this show until they are explicitly prove that they are not Hydra and then all that means is they are almost definitely Hydra because that is what Hydra would want you to think. The Sus List from WandaVision may only be a witch and a rabbit right now, but the Sus List for TFATWS (seriously Marvel, shorten those titles while you are at it) is pretty much unlimited. I can't wait to talk about it in My Mom's Basement with Robbie, which will be available on both YouTube and iTunes.