Meek Mill And Roger Goodell Are The Same Person

As everybody knows, Meek Mill released his diss track response to Drake last night. As everybody knows, it was absolutely putrid. One of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my entire life. But, the main takeaway from it has been that someone might’ve peed on Drake in a movie theater once.

And that’s when I realized that Meek Mill is Roger Goodell. They’re one in the same. Meek released an unprecedented and incorrect lie about the biggest superstar in the game when he said Drake has a ghostwriter. Goodell did the same when he said Tom Brady deflated footballs. Then, the superstars fired back with vicious statements of their own, attacking the character of those who dared to doubt them. Finally, when all seemed lost, Meek and Goodell responded with an all time act of subterfuge. Release yet another inflammatory lie in the middle of a bunch of nonsense and hope that’s all anyone talks about.

It’s incredible, really. The two biggest stories on the internet right now have followed the exact same pattern. Some shithead lies, the kings speak up and show why they’re king, then the shithead tries to cover himself with more incendiary nonsense. Perfect Goodell school of PR from Meek Mills: grab headlines with provocative bullshit. Try to muddy the waters and get people talking and wondering about that one sentence rather than how much you suck at your job. Tom Brady is clearly innocent? Oh no, he DESTROYED his cell phone. Wait, never mind, he just got a new one after it was made clear you didn’t want his phone. Drake murdered you on a diss track? Oh no, he was PISSED ON at a movie. Wait, never mind, some drunk dude peed 4 rows up and some dripped down and might’ve hit Drake’s shoe without him noticing.

Really these two belong in jail, or dead, for what they’ve done. Wasted the public’s time by taking forever to release their responses, then trying to trick us with fake bullshit. Sad that we live in an America where people like them are allowed to walk freely.