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Jet Blue Continues Their Merciless Assault Against The Poors By Banning Overhead Storage For Basic Bitch Customers

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When it comes to major airlines, JetBlue’s customer service is, in my opinion, unparalleled. They have the most leg room in economy, the best (and unlimited) snacks, and free wifi at every seat. As far as the increasingly commodified world of commercial flight goes, they’ve generally zigged where others zag, putting passengers first to build a loyal following.

But it appears the airline is joining ranks with the other airlines by taking away overhead storage for the cheapest ticket option, allowing Blue Basic ticket holders only an under-seat “personal item.

Effective July 20 and pertaining to flights booked on, or after, February 25, all Basic Blue passengers will be allowed one personal item, so long as it fits under the seat in front of them. All other baggage will need to be checked, with fees starting at $65.

Alternatively, Blue, Blue Extra and Mint fares will now have the option to book an “Even More Space” seat on domestic flights, which guarantees passengers overhead bin space and, in the event that it isn’t available, a $25 credit.

Words cannot express how much I hate this move. This is what so many of our trusted businesses are doing in a covid-19 world. They are tryin to make back all the money they lost. Everything is a streaming service. Everything is an add-on. Whether it's guacamole or simply overhead storage in a plane, these money-grabbing fucks will stop at nothing to nickel and dime you out of every single nickel and dime that you have. 65 dollars to bring stuff with you on a plane? More money for legroom. Money for water. Money for everything. It's bullshit and it's time that we rise up and say, "NO MORE." 

I will no longer be fucked on planes. I want free drinks, again. I wanna smoke cigs if I wanna smoke cigs. I wanna sit back in the friendly skies with a glass of bourbon, one cube, and laugh while I scroll the internet of which I didn't pay an additional fee. I want SkyMall back. I wanna bring lithium batteries onboard and not stow my medicines in the cargo area. I wanna have my pet duck with me if I so chose. I don't wanna pay to store my stuff overhead. 

I do think it's nice for the folks who are willing to pay for it though. The super poors on Jet Blue will be flying with all their shit stuffed in a little bag. But, if you are willing to pay, you dont have to worry about getting to the gate right away so you can get the space directly above your seat because there is NOTHING worse than walking down the plane aisle and seeing your seat, 4b, and all the storage area is already taken. You gotta walk further back like a fucking asshole and then start your walk back up the aisle against the flow of traffic. "Excuse me. Sorry. My seat is up there. Mind if I squuuuuueeezze by?" Of course they mind. Of course they act like you're the asshole who continues to poorly design planes. 

Once you get back to your seat, you realize that you left your headphones in the bag that you just stored above the seat 10 rows back. Here we go again. Time to go get that bitch. 

You sit down again. You're sweaty as hell. Miserable. 

"Id more money just so I didn't have to do that shit again."

How much though? 65 dollars? Maybe… just maybe. 

Anyway, like I was saying, fantastic marketing by Jetblue here. It's smart to poor shame people into overhead storage. It lets people know, "Yeah. I fly JetBlue because of the bargain and not because Im poor."

Wait. Jet Blue isn't for poors. I was thinking Frontier. My bad.